Epic episode 4

Crabbie says:
All right, we need a topic. Wino. Does she deserve to go to prison for headbutting that Muslim?

DirtyDisher says:
Hmmm. He was Muslim?

Crabbie says:
He has a Muslim name. So I'm just assuming.

DirtyDisher says:
Well, yeah, she can't go around assaulting peoples
DirtyDisher says:
but not a long sentance...she's fragile

Crabbie says:
I wonder if they could get her for a hate crime, given that he is probably Muslim

DirtyDisher says:Pprobably. She hates everyone that interfears with her doing her drugs though

Crabbie says:
Jail is good for singers. It didn't hurt Chuck Berry any.

DirtyDisher says:
What was he in jail for?

Crabbie says:
Various things

DirtyDisher says:
Ambiguous

Crabbie says:
They got him for transporting a woman across a state line for immoral purposes once

DirtyDisher says:
They should have got him for his music

Crabbie says:
Anyway, wino will have lots of good material now. Plus the jail term will allow her to feel closer to Blake.

DirtyDisher says:
Uh hu, and her toilet
DirtyDisher says:
Hey, what do you think of Locklear looking bikini hot and Richards being...porked?


(Tit for tat, Richards, Ha..suck it in.)

Crabbie says:
I think denise should kill Heather Locklear and made a lampshade out of her

DirtyDisher says:
Bitch! Heather is nice

Crabbie says:
You sound like all those Aniston fans getting made at me now

DirtyDisher says:
I do? Well, Angelina is saving the world, you're just a meanie

Crabbie says:
I don't care about either one of them. What difference does it make if I make fun of Jennifer Aniston? When did she become immune to mockery?

DirtyDisher says:
When Brad dumped her for the bloodsucker,
DirtyDisher says:
she then sprouted wings, a halo and smartwater

Crabbie says:
Well, I don't care about that. Aniston is lame and I'm going to rip her all I want.

DirtyDisher says:
You do that.....you'll get torn apart
DirtyDisher says:
Actually I don't care either..it's just that Aniston is less annoying

Crabbie says:
She's plenty annoying. Blandness is annoying.

DirtyDisher says:
Jeez
DirtyDisher says:
I feel bland..kill me too
DirtyDisher says:
What else?

Crabbie says:
Mariah Carey's little mishap on gma. Not nearly entertaining enough for me. I wanted a bank of lights to fall on her or some pyrotechnics to set her hair on fire.




(go to 3 min to see what Crabbie meant. Mariah turns, hiding her rage, and sings "Stop singing my part, baby."


DirtyDisher says:
That backup twat who sang her part will now die
DirtyDisher says:
Mariah don't mess around

Crabbie says:
I read someplace where that same singer did the same thing another time

DirtyDisher says:
Shes dead
DirtyDisher says:
Mariah is probably the meanest most self important person alive

Crabbie says:
She's a great example of why celebrity worship is destructive to humanity. The validation she's received has turned her into the hideous beast she is today.

DirtyDisher says:
No lie..she's out of control
DirtyDisher says:
Winehouse needs to get ahold of her weave while she's cranking

Crabbie says:
Winehouse needs to be sterilized before it's too late

DirtyDisher says:
Enough speedballs might do the trick,
DirtyDisher says:
she'll give birth to an eight ball.

Crabbie says:
She'll give birth to one of those babies from It's Alive

DirtyDisher says:
Ha....they were cuter than some celeb babies

Crabbie says:
I thought you never said anything bad about babies
DirtyDisher says:
I never mentioned a name..Princess
Tiáamii
DirtyDisher says:
ooops
DirtyDisher says:
poor kid


(Okay, she's a sweet innocent baby with pretty eyes, but, you know damn well this kid isn't winning any baby contests.)


Crabbie says:
That kid has no chance of living

DirtyDisher says:
She'll make it..she'll be tough
DirtyDisher says:
She'll have her own reality show

Crabbie says:
Yeah, by the age of six

DirtyDisher says:
Maybe
DirtyDisher says:
just think..she has a mom who's had so much surgery she doesn't know her..a dad who's gay..a brother whos blind and mentally retarded and autistic who beats her up..and she's been a spectacle since birth
DirtyDisher says:
its a sure hit

Crabbie says:
It's a sure hostage situation

DirtyDisher says:
Scientology could cure all that shit

DirtyDisher says:
I'm going to join...Travolta could fix my blog

Crabbie says:
Travolta can't zip his own fly

DirtyDisher says:
Ummm, only YOU noticed that
DirtyDisher says:
Oh oh...I have this cool reader who's a pilot and I cant use his name but he writes me about celeb pilots
DirtyDisher says:
He says Travoltas a joke and a terrible dangerous pilot
DirtyDisher says:
He flies with them all

Crabbie says:
Travolta's protected by Xenu so he'll be okay

DirtyDisher says:
Well, the real aviation people don't think so,..they'd rather go up in a hot air ballon powered by Steve-O farts

Crabbie says:
I notice you never hear about Cruise flying with Travolta

DirtyDisher says:
Supposedly Cruise is becoming a pilot too, thats the aviation buzz

Crabbie says:
He probably thinks he already knows how cause he was in Top Gun

DirtyDisher says:
Yeah, he can dance in his underwear, he should be able to pilot a jet with no instruction
DirtyDisher says:
Its' sad you name your kid Jet, the lock him in an attic

Crabbie says:
It's sad you name your kid Jet period

DirtyDisher says:
true
DirtyDisher says:
Ella Blue isnt a lot better

Crabbie says:
Makes me think of Ella Guru by Captain Beefheart

DirtyDisher says:
okkkkkkkkkkk


(Oh, Bonnie Blue...Scarlett! Rhett! NOOOO!)

Crabbie says:
or Bonnie Blue Butler

DirtyDisher says:
Oh, she died!!!

Crabbie says:
Yes the horse. Terrible tragedy.

DirtyDisher says:
P oor Bonnie Blue!! Terrible

Crabbie says:
I see I touched a nerve with that one

DirtyDisher says:
Kids should never die or get sick

Crabbie says:
Good thing I didn't mention the one sister in little women who croaked. You might've had a breakdown.

DirtyDisher says:
Doubtful...I didnt like that book
DirtyDisher says:
The one guy had a girls name and Jo had a boys name and none of them were interesting

Crabbie says:
There were no vampires either. Very disappointing.

DirtyDisher says:
No shit..a little Lestat never hurt anyone,
DirtyDisher says:
which reminds me..Tom Cruise was a vampire too, he can do it all

Crabbie says:
He was a lame vampire, as was Brad Pitt
DirtyDisher says:
Brad was a hot vamp.....it's all over now
DirtyDisher says:
Gary Oldman was the hottest vamp of all time

http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o86/DirtyDisher/mine.jpg
(Oh, Oldman, I would dump Hugh Laurie for you. Call me.)

Crabbie says:
That movie was a tad overwrought
DirtyDisher says:
Bullshit..
DirtyDisher says:
it's the greatest love story of all time

Crabbie says:
I thought Milo and Otis was

DirtyDisher says:
Yuck..they abused the animals..that kittens ears were full of mites, its sick

Crabbie says:
Okay then
Crabbie says:
iIll never mention it again

DirtyDisher says:
good, I made Lis take it to her dads..sick thing

Crabbie says:
Gosh
Crabbie says:
Touched another nerve didn't i?

DirtyDisher says:
Animal abuse..yes




Crabbie says:
On a lighter note...it appears Gary Coleman and his wife are headed for a divorce. Couldn't have seen that one coming.

DirtyDisher says:
No way..they're both so hot

Crabbie says:
apparently Gary gets so angry he bangs his head against a wall

DirtyDisher says:
Umm..and how does that hurt him?
DirtyDisher says:
Is she still a virgin?

Crabbie says:
i don't know. I was going to say, at least Gary bangs something, cause he ain't banging her.

DirtyDisher says:
Yeah, he's waiting. Gary is going to heaven
DirtyDisher says:
She's going to the bank with all his money..$4.79

Crabbie says:
Coleman's loaded I read. All the dvd sales of Different Strokes. Plus the liquor stores he knocked over with Todd Bridges and Dana Plato back in the day. He socked all that away.

DirtyDisher says:
Then she can fix her Gary Busey teeth

Crabbie says:
He ain't that loaded

DirtyDisher says:
I have a feeling hes always loaded
DirtyDisher says:
They have a step stool at the liquor store

Crabbie says:
Wesley Snipes going to jail. We care about that?

DirtyDisher says:
I love him,
DirtyDisher says:
he's so cool.....fucker gotta pay his taxes though
DirtyDisher says:
Don't send him to jail!!!!!!

Crabbie says:
You could always be his pen pal
DirtyDisher says:
Hey, I could do that
DirtyDisher says:
add him to the list of jail friends I write

Crabbie says:
I find it amusing that Woody Harrelson's letter on behalf of Snipes was not enough to sway the judge. Woody has no clout whatsoever.

DirtyDisher says:
He wrote it on pressed hemp
DirtyDisher says:
then he rolled it and smoked half of it

Crabbie says:
what do we make of the Cameron Diaz/Ashton Kutcher feud?

DirtyDisher says:
Rep fight
DirtyDisher says:
My reps smarter than your rep

Crabbie says:
I need a rep. Will you be my rep?

DirtyDisher says:
Yeah and you be mine..talk to blogger when they delete me

Crabbie says:
Okay. And you can answer all my nasty posters by calling them cunts.

DirtyDisher says:
I'll be yours...Crabbie Von Crabtree has issued a statement saying he, in no way, meant to piss Catholics off and is sorry if you took his sense of humor in a way that implied malice. Crabbie will be donating $1.75 to the Popes fund for putting boy loving priests in the Vatican witness protection program.
DirtyDisher says:
you CUNT HOLE CUNTS
DirtyDisher says:
hows that?

Crabbie says:
It's nice but a lie. I'm not only implying malice, I'm explicitly trying to be malicious.

DirtyDisher says:
I thought they were the same because they started with M...I'm in the Jessica aSimpson school of journalisim
DirtyDisher says:
and typing

Crabbie says:
Anything else? i'm tapped out.
Crabbie says:
Oh fuck...Pete Doherty is becoming a muslim

DirtyDisher says:
What????????????????? Get out!

Crabbie says:
http://www.showbizspy.com/2008/04/25/pete-doherty-turns-to-islam/
Crabbie says:
The muslims could use some good p.r.

DirtyDisher says:
Oh for crap sake!
DirtyDisher says:
No more religious celebs..he's banned from DD now,
DirtyDisher says:
cute as I find him..no

Crabbie says:
I'm sorry. I've basically ruined your day.

DirtyDisher says:
you really did...you know I love Pete
DirtyDisher says:
He can go peddle that shit on the steet corner where he buys lame ass nickel bags

Crabbie says:
He'll never stick with it

DirtyDisher says:
ukkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
DirtyDisher says:
Kabalah strings, korans, alien Scientolo-weirdos and Lynn Spears leaving her pregnant teen in the hands of God
DirtyDisher says:
Spare me all of it and Michael Lohan too.

Crabbie says:
Don't forget the Pope

DirtyDisher says:
You know what?..fuck him too

Crabbie says:
There, now you're evil too
Crabbie says:
Welcome to the club

DirtyDisher says:
Aint no secret, bub
DirtyDisher says:
And fuck Hindus and Wiccans and Druids and Pagans and Jehovas and Mormans and fuck em all

Crabbie says:
My my

DirtyDisher says:
and Buddists
DirtyDisher says:
And what else is there? Well, fuck them too.

Crabbie says:
You're going to leave all this in?

DirtyDisher says:
Yeah
DirtyDisher says:
It's the truth

Crabbie says:
A lot of things are the truth, that doesn't mean we say them on Smackdown

DirtyDisher says:
Oh and Athiests..fuck them...just cause
DirtyDisher says:
Y ou think I should censor myself?

Crabbie says:
Doesn't matter to me

DirtyDisher says:
Ok then
DirtyDisher says:
i dont give two shits

Crabbie says:
Clearly

DirtyDisher says:
Fuck Jesus! how's that?
DirtyDisher says:
Just everyone needs to shut up and worship alone

Crabbie says:
and let all those nice churches go to waste?

DirtyDisher says:
Don't bother me with that fairy tale shit

DirtyDisher says:
Fuck churches....fuck Alister Crowley and his black and white..fuck Santorina

Crabbie says:
You've gone completely off the rails

DirtyDisher says:
Fuck Lutherans, Protestants, Holy Rollers, Babtists and all of 'em
DirtyDisher says:
Shut up and leave people alone

Crabbie says:
This is your Arthur Godfrey moment

DirtyDisher says:
I'm not as fat as him
DirtyDisher says:
I think I just got so worked up I peed myself

Crabbie says:
That doesn't surprise me

DirtyDisher says:
Voodoo makes the most sense, but, I cant follow that because I cant dance
DirtyDisher says:
Nothing surprises you

Crabbie says:
It doesn't surprise me that you would pee yourself given the severity of your tirade

DirtyDisher says:
And my lack of bladder control
DirtyDisher says:
I'm old ya know
DirtyDisher says:
No really..why cant people just leave other people be? It's all so out of hand, always has been

Crabbie says:
I don't know

DirtyDisher says:
tommarrow will be a better day

Crabbie says:
I hope so

DirtyDisher says:
Besides I LOVE hate mail

Crabbie says:
You must

DirtyDisher says:
Yep and that's a wrap,
DirtyDisher says:
as they say in the bizz

Crabbie says:
You the director now?

DirtyDisher says:
You're always the star so I must be
DirtyDisher says:
Fellini with boobies

Crabbie says:
Fellini's boobies were pretty big

DirtyDisher says:
So are mine

Crabbie says:
He had Mastroianni and you have me...you got shafted

DirtyDisher says:
No, I think I'm doing fine
DirtyDisher says:
Mastroianni wouldn't stay up all night to make sure I got the latest Lohan movie